Endings

I have been thinking a lot about leadership, as we begin the book of Devarim, or Deuteronomy. The book essentially reviews much of what we have already learned in the Torah, albeit presenting that information in a new way. It is framed as a long speech by Moses to the community. And at the end of that speech, that story, Moses steps aside as the Israelite leader. Famously, he will not cross over the Jordan and enter the promised land with the people; it is Joshua who will take on the mantle of leadership in this next phase.

This theme has been resonating with me because, for several weeks now, I have been feeling like it is time to stop writing these weekly parasha posts and recipes. I have wrestled with this decision; I had, in my mind, made the commitment to do this exercise for a full year, to make it all the way through one reading of the Torah. I already had plans for this week’s post, and for future recipes coordinated with the text. When I make a commitment, I like to see it through.

And yet, the circumstances of my life have changed significantly since I began this project. My family is going through a period of major transition, and while I still hope to find ways to meaningfully bring Torah to my family’s Shabbat table throughout the rest of this Torah reading cycle and beyond, I know that right now, my energies are needed elsewhere. I have been thinking a lot about an episode of Freakonomics, a podcast I enjoy, called “The Upside of Quitting.” It was all about how difficult it is psychologically to quit something you have invested a lot of time and energy in, even though sometimes that is clearly the best thing to do.This is one of those times.

But I have also been thinking a lot about the journey we have been on together through the first four books of the Torah, the dozens of meals we have collectively sat down to our families with, the conversations I have had with parents trying to figure out how to enliven their kids’ Jewish experience in a million different ways (including their frustrations), the moments of delight my children have found in some of the stories we have shared, the little ways this exercise has helped me carve out space for ritual in my life, and the new meals we have been inspired to try. I’m not in the same place that I was at the beginning of this year, and if you have been reading along with me, I expect the same is true for you. We all have so many skills now to bring the Torah to life at our own tables, in the ways that make sense to us.

So while I am stepping away, I am leaving with a sense of excitement about sharing this mantle of leadership with each of you in your own homes, about the communities and rituals and family experiences you will each continue to build. I hope you’ll share some of them with me, if you feel so inclined. And these ideas will still be here for you as a resource or inspiration, should you ever want them.

Onwards,

Deb